Photography by Minette King
The Red Cord
As a Doula and a first-time mom, I deeply appreciate the vulnerable presence that a Birthkeeper offers during the miraculous moment of bringing life into this world. It goes beyond mere hand-holding, guidance through breath-work, or providing pain management techniques; it's about having someone there to advocate for you when your world gets turned upside down, contractions are piggybacking, and you're in the hot seat having to make a life or death decision. Pregnancy, childbirth, and the post-birth period are transformative experiences that can be both exciting and overwhelming. Personally, having the support of a Doula made a significant difference for us during this time.
It is incredible how much the lens and perspective changes when the roles are reversed. Having knowledge and experience as a Doula allowed me to take care of most of my needs early on in the pregnancy, however, I quickly realized I was in need of more support and I couldn't bare this weight solely on my partner. The surge of hormones was unreal, it was my biggest "symptom". I had bouts of questions and insecurities, with a deep desire to be held and heard by someone that could relate and hold space for what I was going through.
My birth experience was a passage of unexpected turns and heartfelt gratitude. As a Birthkeeper myself, I had envisioned a different approach to my own birthing process. And, when things drifted from the plan, having our Doula by our side was truly invaluable.
Exploring the Role of a Doula
First and foremost, it's important to understand that a Doula is not a medical professional. We do not provide medical care or make decisions on behalf of the birthing person. Instead, the role is to offer emotional, physical, and informational support throughout the entire journey.
During pregnancy, a Doula will meet with the expectant parents to discuss their birth preferences and address any concerns or questions they may have, playing a crucial role by providing comprehensive support and guidance. In our experience, our Doula engaged in open discussions sharing a deep connection through aligning philosophy and values, created a personalized approach to care that respected our individual choices and desires, and provided education on the various stages of labor and childbirth; helping to demystify the process and alleviate any fears or anxieties. As first time parents, we truly benefited from our Doula's ongoing support and follow-up of appointments. This created a continuity of care and fostered a collaborative approach to my pregnancy and birth; establishing a strong foundation for a supportive and understanding partnership, receiving emotional reassurance and guidance throughout the entire process.
Breakthrough
My laboring process was a profound journey marked by unexpected challenges. Despite starting two weeks late, or right on time shall we say, and requiring medical induction, the progression was slow, leading to significant deviations from our anticipated home birth plan. The ordeal spanned over 10 arduous hours of labor before the decision for an epidural was made, followed by another 5 hours culminating in an emergency cesarean birth. I was ready to light my birth plan on fire, in fact, that is exactly what I said to the medical team: "Might as well light it on fire!". I was devastated. It was constant surrender and sacrifice and the only thing that mattered, was protecting the life of our unborn child.
During labor, a Doula serves as a pillar of unwavering support, playing a multifaceted role. Our Birthkeeper's contributions included guiding decision-making as requested, especially when faced with critical medical interventions, offering a continuous stream of emotional support and encouragement, and providing assistance with various comfort measures when needed. Additionally, she was there for us as a back-up advocate for our needs and preferences should we not have found the strength under all the stress and was able to hold our relatives in calmness and reassurance, too. The experience, though not what I envisioned, taught me resilience and the unpredictability of childbirth; we felt empowered to make informed choices throughout our pregnancy and birth experience.
Photography by Minette King
The First 40-Days
Embarking on the post-birth journey is a transformative experience that often unfolds in ways that are different from what one might have anticipated, for me, this was the case. Despite the meticulous preparations I made for the initial 40-days after childbirth, the reality diverged significantly from the expectations set beforehand. This 6-week period is a time marked by a myriad of emotions and challenges, our intentions were dedicated for mom to heal and cocoon with dad and our little one. For us, it ranged from overwhelming fatigue to unexpected emotional stress. Much like our own experience, it is not uncommon for new parents to find themselves grappling with feelings of neglect as they adjust to the demands of caring for a newborn, highlighting the importance of baby, and oftentimes leaving mom behind.
Recognizing the complexities and demands of the first 40-day period, the role of Doulas emerges as a beacon of assistance, guidance, and care for new parents navigating this uncharted territory. Doulas offer a comprehensive and holistic approach to assisting individuals as they transition into parenthood, particularly in the post-birth phase. Our expertise extends to various facets of care, including but not limited to breastfeeding support, infant care education, emotional well-being, and assistance with household tasks.
One of the key strengths of Doulas lies in our ability to establish clear boundaries and promote self-care practices among new parents. By encouraging individuals to prioritize their own physical and mental well-being, Doulas empower others to navigate the complexities of post-delivery recovery and early parenting with greater resilience and confidence.
Empowering Birth Experiences
Doulas serve as companions on the birth journey, though never replacing the partner, offering a steady hand and a compassionate presence during a period of profound transition and adjustment. We show up to create a safe and non-judgmental space for the birthing person to express their needs and desires.
In conclusion, a Doula is multifaceted and invaluable. From providing emotional support to offering physical comfort measures, we / they can play a crucial role in promoting a positive and empowering birth experience. When considering a Doula, it is important to do your research and find someone who aligns with your values and preferences. Remember, the role of a Birthkeeper is to support you and your partner, so finding someone who you feel comfortable with and trust is essential.
From my heart to yours, if you are expecting a baby, I would consider exploring the option of hiring a Doula to support you on this incredible journey.
Photography by Minette King
Gracias y bendiciones.
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